Sh*t Product of the Week! Fly Swats

Basically, it's a little plastic killing racquet but, seriously, why is the modern fly swat so useless?

Folks, thanks to the loooooong, humid (oh, armpit meltingly humid!) ‘Summer without End’, we’ve had an influx of fly’s here at Chateau de Greg n Nell.

Oh, and cockroaches too, but that’s another story.

To avoid spraying canned DDT about the place like dear old Nanna used to do at Christmas lunch (and usually over Christmas lunch, and us as well), I’ve purchased a plastic fly swat and been prowling the house trying to kill the little flying sods.

Without much success; initially.

Because, straight off the shelf, the modern, plastic, flyswat is pretty much useless.

Once again, the manufacturers have saved money by making them out of such crapulent plastic, they don’t flex, they bend.

And here’s the kicker, stay bent long enough for the fly to get away.

In fact, in fly time, the winged rodents have several hours to get out of the way of any swats I aim their way.

So, I’ve had to modify it; a bit.

In the past I’ve used a wooden dowel, or strip of fibreglass from a broken fishing rod (Kids! ALWAYS check your rod is fully in the car before slamming the boot shut), along the spine of the swat to give it the rigidity and flexibility required for proper, overarm, fly smashing swats.

This time, I’ve used lots of black tape to stiffen the sucker up so it actually flexes, not bends, and most importantly - SWATS.

I prefer to hit them on the wing, which is far more sporting, and the modified swat is perfect for this.

It would be nice to be able to purchase one that doesn’t need to be modified though… am I asking too much here?

So, once again I ask the question:

Do the people who make these things actually test, or use, them?

Because one trial run would show them how useless they are.

The answer:

Of course not!

They’re built down to a price and sold in bulk to annoy Australian consumers. Hey, job well done morons!

Anyway, stay tuned for next weeks’ gripping consumer adventure in Sh*t Products!

Cheers,

Greg