Weather Or Not
Folks, they say when you’ve got nothing to say you tend to talk about the weather. Say, how about this weather we’ve been having lately?
Not so long ago, I used to joke that the easiest job on Queensland radio was being a weather presenter here in Gladstone.
There were only two things you had to memorise, depending on the season:
1. Fine, possibly cloudy, and hot with a chance of showers.
2. Fine, possibly cloudy, and cool with a chance of showers.
For decades, the actual chance of any showers appearing over Gladdy town were about the same as heavy rain falling in an underground coal mine.
But lately, all my old weather predictors are proving to be about as accurate as a three-dollar watch.
In fact, we used to have a little twist on the old sayings:
Red sky in the morning? No chance of rain. Red sky at night, definitely no rain.
When cows lie down it is about to rain, it means they have heat stroke.
Mare’s tails, (alto cirrus clouds) in a clear sky, usually foretells the weather will change from fine to… well, something pretty much similar.
When clouds appear like towers, we’ll be refreshed by frequent showers, a brisk wind will appear and blow them away; weather will be fine.
Rainbow in the morning gives you a fair warning, rain on the way, that it will remain fine and hot.
Ring around the moon, rain real soon, smoke/pollution haze off the charts.
As you can see, living with Gladstone’s simple weather prediction patterns was not rocket science.
Until now.
These days, we’re all walking around gazing up at the sky and scratching our heads. Honestly, none of us have a clue what the weather is going to be like from one day to the next. We’re really not used to these sort of chaotic meteorological conditions.
It’s a hot topic of conversation round these here parts.
Especially if you’re trying to plan a camping trip, wedding, beach holiday, music festival, markets or any other type of fun-filled, outdoor activity a week or more in advance.
Frankly, trying to work out if it will be fine enough to mow the lawn tomorrow is proving to be a bigger challenge than getting a teenager out of bed before 10am during the school holidays.
My umbrella has been within arm’s reach for months. The creeks are still full. Wildfires are being extinguished by rain a day after being lit.
Look, I’m not unhappy. It’s nice to see (the usually parched) Gladrock looking so lush and green, but I am seriously not used to local radio weather predictions being so, well, accurate.
People, the question has to be asked:
What the hell is going on?!
To my astonishment an acquaintance at the pub, who is about as green leaning as a toxic radioactive waste dump, or the LNP front bench, had a bit to say about the recent chaotic weather and flooding, then added, (aloud, in the presence of witnesses!), “This bloody climate change is getting worse eh? Bloody government should do something!”
I waited for him to slap me on the back and admit he was joking, but he was serious.
Honestly, I couldn’t have been more stunned if he’d asked me to donate to another Peter Dutton flood fundraiser.
Eventually, he wandered off for a game of pool, because for some reason, I had nothing to say…
This column was published in the Regrow Qld newsletter!
